"The politics of speed. Between the Buttons came out. That's when I zoomed in on Brian. I got obsessed with him. Focused on him like some sick kodak. Brian between the what? Look at that cover. look at him. he's exposed, he's cold as ice. his powdery skin. his shadow eyes. a doomed albino raccoon. I seen them do Ruby Tuesday on tv. Mick was on top he was the prince. decked in a mirrored shirt and shingled hair. he made his first public ballet bow. Brian was crouched down. he seemed covered with a translucent dust. mr. amanda jones.
[...]He wasn't human and not super human. rather transparent. The bruised and vulnerable soul of the Stones.
I tried to touch. I made this chant:
Brian Brian/I'm not crying/I'm just trying/to reach you.
My own mantra. Hard contact. Mix and melt and warn a sacred stranger. A weakling.
The fire eater reappeared. We withdrew to a town called the "wishing well." I tried to can my obsession. I was getting wall-eyed. I made Lizzie Borden look like a seamstress. I breathed deeper. forget Brian. ya don't even know him. Relax. Dig a hole and shit like a cat. like Voltaire.
When sleep covered me I'd dream a death dream of Brian. By the fourth night I wished I was dead. My body erupted. I was covered with an unknown rash. I could hardly breathe. I dropped a pot of boiling water on my legs. They bubbled up like jelly fish.
He'd drown in his own tears. mock turtle.
He'd swell up from swallowing too much rain.
dressed in victorian lace he'd choke
Mick would cover his eyes. Keith would cry like the warrior.
Night after night. Until my eyes burned like a leg.
It was July 2. The doctor thought I was bats. He gave me morphine for the pain. He whispered sweet dreams.
It was morning. It was dazzling. It was July 3rd. By night fall the whole world knew that Brian Jones was dead.
The Stones were moving toward a mortal mergence of the unspoken monument and the hot dance of life. But they were moving too slow for Brian. So slow he split. In two.
Death by water. Just a shot away from the heart of Ethiopia. Rising to original heights. Up and over Adams apple sauce. There are blonde hairs raveling in the Stones vital breath. ha ha. Brian got the last laugh."